i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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