i just google imaged poop.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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