u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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