the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
