kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
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No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
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Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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