I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
4 words: hood of his car
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
