i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
