But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
