Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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