Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
