ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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