You made me cry and you don't even care
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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