I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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