So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
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Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
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Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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