I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
