And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
