remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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