why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
