I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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