I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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