I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
