well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
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my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
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