I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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