I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
