the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
