I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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