remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
