I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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