I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
