why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
