she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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