Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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