At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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