Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
