just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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