Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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