There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Do vagina's smell?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
