It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
the liver wants what the liver wants
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
