I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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