She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
