Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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