I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i think my cat just said my name.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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