I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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