why didn't you poke me back
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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