just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize