I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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