Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me