I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser