3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
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Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration