i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again