Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
