Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You are the jesus of drinking
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
