imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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