we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
