Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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