that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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