i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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