He asked to "fluff my boner.."
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize