dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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