TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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