I wish I could teleport
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
