How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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